I feel that I've always been the same person, but with varying seasons and accessories that come along with those seasons. And it's these accessories I'm trying to thin out. I'm not only talking about my closet-- I'm hoping to really commit to being more intentional about the kind of baggage I bring into my life.
"Stuff" has always been emotional to me. Each item I have in my life has some of my life force attached to it-- work surrounding their maintenance, visual processing that leads to emotional processing whenever I see that item. For someone as emotional as I am, it takes a lot of energy to deal with stuff, and I'm working to make those things more intentional-- I want things to be in my life because I want them and their baggage here for good reasons.
I've generally been better than most about this when it comes to lifestyle choices and relationships. I didn't enjoy alcohol and I realized I wouldn't gain much by putting in the effort and money to "acquire the taste" for it so I never did. I end relationships when they need to end-- friendships or otherwise. I've never put pressure on myself to enjoy and spend money on things that don't matter to me like professional manicures or fancy vacations. But for some reason it's a lot easier for me to buy things.
When I buy stuff, I tend to think those things are going to be the first step towards something-- a version of me that is more together, athletic, happy, responsible... something. I think it's how a lot of people buy stuff.
At the end of the day though, I feel like I've been spreading myself too thin. I am a sea, but I've made myself into a vast puddle.
Here is a short list of things I'm working to clean out and then improve:
- my closet
- my book collection
- my notebook collection
- my make-up collection
- my office supply horde
- my stationery (already made great progress)
Here's a short list of things I'm hoping to make more space for:
- flowers and live plants
- better clothes I love
- being healthier
- letter writing