may small goals



Lots of big life changes happening this month. I'm currently "between successes" but very excited about the opportunities I'm pursuing. I'm participating in Nicole at Writes Like A Girl's link up of small goals. Be sure to check that out and consider participating and linking up.

Before we get into this month's goals, let's check in on last month's goals:

Raise money for services for domestic violence and human trafficking victims. Granted, I only made it a little over half to my original goal, we did raise a decent sum of money that will help Sanctuary for Families, an organization that helps victims of domestic violence and human trafficking. These issues disproportionately and deeply affect women who are poor, immigrants, and/or women of color. The money we raised will go towards providing legal aid, shelter, counseling, economic empowerment, childcare, and more. The current administration wants to cut funds for programs that help victims of gender violence so please consider sending a donation to Sanctuary for Families

Take a walk at least once a week. I actually did this! In part because I've been running errands further from home to save money, I've gotten out more for longer. I'm glad I'll be able to process vitamin D better with all that good good sunlight.

Learn some new recipes. I learned one new recipe, but I don't think that should count since the spirit was more along the lines of 3 - 5 recipes. 

Do wrist and arm exercises more. I'm doing stretches and push ups more. Probably not as much as I should, but I have made a marked improvement from not at all. 

Bring weekly link posts back. Well. Definitely did not cross this one off my list. 

Three out of five isn't great but it's not bad. The past month was definitely slightly encumbered by the impending graduation of my siblings, Mother's Day shopping, and of course my job hunt. I also managed to get a hair cut-- which is a big deal for me since I haven't gotten that done professionally in... years. 

There's a lot going on this month-- my sister graduating, my trip to Disneyworld with my brother and best bud Jasmin, and job hunting! But we're here to do small goals. So let's focus on that. 

Post a great Disneyworld vlog! I'm trash for Disney and I'm going with some of my favorite people whom I live REALLY far from so it should be a fantastic trip. I'm so excited. 

Post 3 blog posts. The time has come for the bar to be set heckin' low. The lack of structure in my life is definitely making it weirdly easy for me to not post on the blog even though I do want to keep up! What the heck! I just kinda forget about it and assume I have time later-- because I do, but that doesn't mean anything if I don't actually use it.

Make a more solid skincare routine. I think the time has come for me to treat my skin really well. I don't think I'm horrible to it (unless you count my diet) but I would say I'm not strict about it, and that's definitely something I should be more disciplined about. I should be using day and night cream regularly, using serums as a preventative measure, and doing masks 2-3 times a week! 

Exercise during commercial breaks. I watch a lot of TV and I really oughtta take advantage of commercials to do more than check twitter. 

Nail down the Major Arcana. I've been teaching myself tarot with Labyrinthos Academy which is a cool tarot tutorial app! I've gone through all the Major Arcana lessons multiple times over but I still don't think I have it totally nailed down. The Minor Arcana is a lot more difficult so I'm hoping to get a solid grip on the Major Arcana this month before I proceed into Minor Arcana.

What are your goals for the month?
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6 More Thoughtful Ways to Gift Money to Grads



My siblings are graduating this year! That's got me thinking a lot about graduation gifts. Money is a great and popular gift because frankly, most people could use more of it, and that's especially true when you're just starting out. Giving a cash gift for graduation is pretty common, and it's not seen as impersonal (like it might for a birthday). That said, there are a lot of thoughtful ways to gift someone money with a little more intention. Some things are just easier to spend money on than others, and those things aren't necessarily the most important things-- see: me ordering delivery food and then complaining about the cost of flatware. Sometimes it's a good idea to designate a purpose for funds!

Savings Bonds. If you're in the US, you can buy a savings bond for someone that will mature in a year and can earn interest the longer they sit. You can even buy them directly with your tax refund! Definitely do your research to see if this is a good option for you, but they especially make sense if you want to help your new grad think about the nebulous but important idea of investments and long-term money.

Gift cards for entertainment. Whether or not your recent grad has a job lined up post-grad, it might be hard for them to pay for some fun when they're just starting out. Handle it for them by gifting them a gift card for streaming services or movie theaters.
✨✨✨ Try gift cards for Netflix, Spotify Premium, Apple/iTunes, AMC, fandango, and Regal Theaters.

Gift cards for essentials. There are some places you just gotta shop when you are living your life. Gift cards to these places are always welcome and can make a hefty "starting the apartment" shopping trip a little less cardiac arrest inducing when they hit the register.
✨✨✨ Try gift cards for Amazon Prime, Target, Lowes, and IKEA.

Gift cards for dining out. Sometimes you just gotta treat yourself to a fancy latte or a dinner you didn't have to cook after a long day at work. And some gift givers like to give gifts that aren't 100% practical and necessary and are more fun and special-- an excuse to break from normal restrictions and live a little!
✨✨✨ Try gift cards for Starbucks, Chipotle, Darden Restaurants, Panera, IHOP, Coldstone Creamery, Dominos, etc. You can also get gift certificates for favorite local businesses if you know the grad is going to be living in a certain spot for a while. 

Gift cards for adult/professional clothes. Let's be real, the kids probably need new clothes for interviews and maybe even for their jobs if they're living the corporate lifestyle. But the other thing is that you probably should be picking them for them. So give them a gift card instead!
✨✨✨ Try gift cards for Nordstrom, Banana Republic, Gap, Torrid, JCPenney, Lord & Taylor, DSW, and Express.

Gift cards for travel. What better way to subtly hint that this bud better visit you than by giving them no excuse not to, am I right? But seriously, traveling is a ton of fun and often a key part of how we escape from the pressure of our regular lives whether for a summer getaway or just getting home for the holidays! Make it a little less burdensome for your recent grad with a gift card or two.  
✨✨✨ Try gift cards for Hotels.com and Southwest Airlines

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Say Goodbye to Complacency with Rain!


Hi all, sorry I haven't posted much lately-- been dealing with some crazy life stuff but I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things soon! In the mean time, my friend Rain from RainLeeFrancisco.com has got my back! She's a really kick-ass friend from LA and she blogs about all the good stuff from pop culture to her personal philosophies and today she's talking about kicking complacency's butt!


The biggest danger is complacency. Can we be continually great?

I do not believe in settling. Whether it’s settling for a job, love or even your next pair of shoes. Never settle. Because settling will leave you feeling empty inside, even if it’s slight. Or worse… REGRET. Now, I don’t believe in regrets either, but that’s a post for another day.

Life is too short to be complacent.

People who are successful and at the top of their game did not settle. The New England Patriots are the best NFL team ever, playing the most conference championships and now, with the most Super Bowl wins of any team in history. But that doesn’t come from settling. Tom Brady didn’t throw in the towel after winning his first Super Bowl (which is the most any player can be happy with), or his second, third or fourth.

Instead he went back to the field and trained harder and came back stronger. Same with Kobe Bryant. No matter what you keep fighting back strong against ALL odds. If you accept the fact that you’re #1, then there’s nothing that can stop you from being #1.

Seek new mountains.
Once you reach the mountain top, seek new mountains. There’s always a bigger and more challenging mountain waiting to be climbed. This will only make you stronger, more powerful and even better than you expected. But of course, with new mountains comes new challenges.

Do it again, but differently.
You’ve reached the highest point of success you dreamt of for a long time and may now be boasting to yourself about how you got there. Great. Now, if you’d like to do it again, make those tweaks and changes. Everything in life is constantly changing and evolving and we must do the same. To reach success, be #1 and reach a new height, we must be willing to do things differently and change. For a potentially better outcome awaits.

Repeat success.Success can be repeated and that can come in many forms. So you’ve got the highest grade on your Communication Law final. Repeat. Obviously not in that class, but in others. Or, perhaps you lost those last 5 pounds that seemed impossible to come off… Repeat success by keeping it off. Repeating success does not mean going out and doing the exact same thing, the same way and being successful, again! Ha, that does not happen. Why? Because you already did it.

Repeating success can come in many shapes, sizes and forms.

Recognize opportunities and seize them.
First and foremost, the most successful people are able to recognize opportunities, take them and run with them. The opportunity can be an innovating product or service, an investment, pursuing a dream career, whether it may be… it’s important to be open to the possibilities.

There are so many more opportunities! Don’t settle for anything less than what you know you deserve. Once you are given those seeds, continue to plant them even during a drought and hope they’ll blossom long term.

We can all bring out our inner Tom Brady or Beyoncé and let nothing stand in our way of being #1. Always strive for the best, nothing less than that is acceptable. Complacency is the enemy of success.

Later babes, xx Rain

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april small goals


I'm so excited because I'm turning 24 this month and that feels pretty awesome! I'm participating in Nicole at Writes Like A Girl's link up of small goals. Be sure to check that out and consider participating and linking up.

Before we get into this month's goals, let's check in on last month's goals:

Get on To-Doist. 
I immediately got on this and even sprung for premium. It's definitely helped me with the smaller and recurring tasks in my life. It's great for things like chores or incidental things that are important but not urgent. 

Finish a book-- maybe even two! I finished The Wangs vs. The World which I had on my plate forever. You can read my review here and follow me on Goodreads. I have not gotten onto a second book, but I'm glad I met my goal of wrapping one up!

Start Meal Planning again. Did not get to this... I have succeeded in trying out more recipes, but things have been a little too hectic to make time to fully meal plan. I'll try to do better this month!

Go to the gym twice a week. So, I had high hopes, but we were hit with a blizzard and the fact that it didn't warm up like I HOPED it would really put a damper on this. I think I need to generally get out more though. Last month had me so cooped up that I definitely need more sun and I don't think my gym (in a basement) is going to help with that so I'll definitely need to get some walks in the mix.

Blog more, get more videos up. I got a couple videos up and did some more blogging! I stopped putting pressure on myself to put videos up after Youtube's Restricted Mode started being really crappy to so many creators like LGBTQ vloggers and activists. I don't really feel great about the idea of putting up more videos while this is happening. As a bi person I don't know if it's a good decision to continue to create content for a platform that is screwing up so royally-- but on the other hand is it better to not let them stop me from creating? I don't know, but right now I'm leaning toward not putting stuff on Youtube until they fix it. I also got a couple more blog posts up. I feel good about it even though it doesn't feel like I'm fully in the swing of it. I think it will improve as the weather improves. 

Three out of five isn't so bad. That's kind of average for me so at least I'm not doing badly. Onto April's goals!

Raise money for services for domestic violence and human trafficking victims. I mentioned my birthday is coming up, but what I haven't mentioned is that I am using the occasion to raise money for Sanctuary for Families, my favorite non-profit organization in New York. Their mission is to end gender based violence, and work to address the complex problem in a thorough way, providing services ranging from shelter and child care to counseling (individual, group, family, and crisis), legal aid, economic empowerment, and educational advocacy. They work in over 30 languages with thousands of clients each year. This is incredibly dear to me as a child of immigrants and woman of color as immigrants and women of color and those living in poverty are especially at risk for gender-related violence. It's incredibly important with the current administration looking to cut federal funding for programs that fight domestic violence. If you've enjoyed my content over the years, please consider sending a donation their way

Take a walk at least once a week. Here's to hoping the weather makes this something I can actually enjoy. Granted it is also catcalling season but if I worried about that all the time, I'd literally never get anything done. 

Learn some new recipes. I think this will make meal planning more fun! Meal planning is kind of boring and I think learning new recipes will help make it easier to do. I'm frankly not the most disciplined person but my enthusiasm is so strong it usually compensates. I need to build my enthusiasm since trying to make this a chore is not helping me. 

Do wrist and arm exercises more. I am experiencing a lot more issues with my carpal tunnal and I think it's largely because I am mostly using them for repetitive tasks that strain them without actually strengthening or stretching them. I'm hoping to do a few more stretches for them every day and do more arm strength exercises. And maybe start practicing sword again since I am very interested and haven't done it in years. (Before you ask, I have always been a beginner.)

Bring weekly link posts back. I feel like I come across a lot of great content and I miss spotlighting stuff every week. I just want to recommend y'all stuff, and despite my original plan to share it all on Facebook, since making that decision, Facebook has changed a lot-- as both a platform and a culture.

That's it for me! Please consider donating to my fundraiser, and check out Sanctuary for Families-- their array of services is really amazing!

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1.5 Years Later



It's been a year and a half since I cut all ties with a long-time friend of mine. After over ten years of friendship, I think a lot of people would have a hard time dropping someone unless they did something catastrophic. Especially people who value Being a Good Friend. But Being A Good Friend doesn't make someone else be a good friend to you.

Some people think getting into your life early enough is all they need to do to be a life-long friend. Some people don't contact you unless they need something out of you. Some people don't know how to treat people with respect and don't care to learn. I'm not saying this as an indictment-- just fact.

This is a short post, but in the spirit of spring cleaning and new beginnings, I just wanted to remind you that you can get rid of pretty much anything you want if it is not helping you grow or be better. Just because you're used to something, or have put a lot of time and energy into something, doesn't mean that it is a good idea to keep moving forward with.

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Book Review: The Wangs vs. The World


As you may know, I'm trying to read more this year-- specifically books. I read a lot of articles and internet pieces but I genuinely haven't picked up many books since grade-school for non-academic purposes so I'm teaching myself to carve out time for that again. This month I told myself I had to finish the book I've been picking up and putting down for months.

I got a free copy of The Wangs vs. The World from Houghton Mifflin way back in October and finally got through it. Here's my take on it.

Centering on the fall of an immigrant family that "made it" and then suddenly found themselves "unmade" at the height of the 2008 financial crisis, The Wangs vs. The World centers on the family and their cross-country road trip to reunite and somehow reclaim their family's former glory-- once lost to the Communists, twice lost to America, where Charles had to start over, and now thrice lost to financial institutions.

This book is not "hilarious" but it does have some funny moments-- I would say the majority of the comedy is more in the absurdities of the improbabilities and indignities the family faces, which is a very common comedic sensibility in Asian immigrants and their descendants. The characters are well-written and multi-layered, each with their own quirks and absurd dreams which is also a hallmark of the first generation of Americans born to immigrants. The charm of those book lies largely in how very real the portrayal of the family dynamic is and the varying values of the different characters based on their generation, cultural upbringing, and social standing-- unique to each character despite their all being a family. 

My two main grievances with the book are these: First, I did not like the Charles, the patriarch, at all. He's the kind of man I have known very well in life and I find him insufferable. The story, though very much about everyone else as much as him is set in motion because of him. It begins with him and ends with him. To me he is the epitome of the idea of "loving your family, without liking them." He is the father that his children love, but don't really like. The story really did feel like, for all its expansion on the other characters, a universe built around him and his own ego and its results. Secondly, I did not get much closure from the book's end, which I will not detail, but I'd say I felt that only 60% of the emotional loose ends were tied up and the floor fell out below me on the last page. And not in a powerful way, just in a bewildering way that had me feeling like I should have read a version with about 30 more pages to wrap everything up.

Overall it's a decent read, and as someone who is trying to read more books by and about Asian Americans, it definitely represented the family dynamics in a robust and real way. It's a little crass, a little too-honest, and very much about humor in situations moreso than the turn-of-phrase in the narration. Perhaps it's just not for someone who is turned off by stories centered on a patriarch and how his mistakes affect everyone else. 

This review is also available on my goodreads account-- if you're a user too, feel free to connect with me there an recommend some books to me!
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Videos from Austin


2 weeks ago I went on a trip to Austin to see Mia (of xoMia and Fake Goth Girls) and Nicole (of Writes Like A Girl and Breakfast for Dinner). I finally got around to editing video from the trip so here is a little video of some of the fun stuff we did together!


I didn't capture everything we did-- we watched some serious Ultimate Beastmaster on Netflix. I also petted Mia & Colby's cats and we did Tarot things and had lunches with other new friends.

We also filmed some collab videos. The tag for Mia's channel isn't up yet, but you can check out the mystery Disney Lyric challenge we did together!


I still have to film a haul video for this trip too, but I will get around to it soon. If you want to keep up with my videos, please subscribe to my channel.

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march small goals



Okay, so I've really been neglecting goal posts, but they are pretty important to helping me focus on stuff each month, and Nicole has a really cute round up of them that I miss participating in. So I'm getting back on this (and worrying less about the blog image for them which was making me weirdly anxious). 

I didn't give myself goals last month, but moving forward I'll start with how the last month's goals went. For now, I'm jumping straight into goals for this month!

Get on To-Doist. So, I love my paper planners, but they are honestly better for conceptualizing outings and major tasks each day than they are my everyday functioning. After listening to Fake Goth Girls talk about their love of Todoist, I'm sold. 

Finish a book-- maybe even two! I'm in the middle of one book right now, and while I do want to aim for finishing 1 book every two months at least, I've also decided that I want to alternate fiction and self-improvement-y types of books. I'm hoping to finally finish the book I've been stalled out on for the past couple weeks and start a business-oriented book!

Start Meal Planning again. Another better use for my paper planner, I think this will help me stay healthier and make me better about grocery shopping. 

Go to the gym twice a week. I'm really trying to push myself to be more active as the weather gets less grim. Maybe I'll skip the gym if I can get in an hour long walk or something, but I need to stop planning weekends around food and netflix...

Blog more, get more videos up. I've shot several videos that I haven't edited... that needs to change. I'm hoping to get 2 more blog posts and 2 more videos up this month. 

What are your goals for this month?

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Life Update 013


So, it's been a while. I have been really slacking on my blogging game, and my content creation game in general these days. But I've been up to a lot so hopefully it will totally make sense why I have been super sluggish these days. I hope that the content I put out for you guys is still entertaining and thoughtful, if a little less frequent. I've been getting some good feedback on my last post about why I think unpaid internships are wrong so I'm hoping that's a good sign. Anyway, life updates.

My cousin moved in. She's makin' moves and one of them is in with me and my other roommate. We combined our living room and dining room into one common area, and now my cousin lives in our former living room. It's technically a bedroom anyway, so I guess it's really just being used for its intended purpose. I'm really glad to have her because not only is she generally a ton of fun, but I think this city is going to give her more of the kinds of opportunities she wants.

I've been sleeping in more than usual on the weekends. It's colder than ever and more often than usual I'm just sleeping in and napping. Part of it might also be the torrent of heartbreaking news I'm getting these days on social media and just not wanting to deal with it. I'm going to try to shift away from sleeping through hours and toward reading through them-- with books rather than feeds.

Speaking of books, I read milk and honey. I really enjoyed it. I love poetry and I appreciated the journey this took me on. Being made up of short poems, I think it was a good transition into making time to read again. I highly recommend for poetry lovers out there.

I'm getting out more. I'm trying really hard to really connect with more people these days. Being someone who loves people but hates getting out, I've really built strong circles of convenience and digital access with close friends, but I have a hard time meeting new people, or even hanging out with people I care about who are a little less convenient to meet up with. I'm trying to grab more lunches, accept more invitations, and generally be outside my house more.

I have been treating myself too much. In the midst of unprecedented not-good societal conditions in my lifetime, I require more self-care than before. Unfortunately, due to my generally outrageous personality this means I have been a little too spendy. My fatalistic sense of humor is compounding this with thoughts like "what's a little money when the president is anti-science?" (Can I blame Mia 'what's a little debt when we don't even know if any of this is real?' Moore for this new thought process?) It also kinda goes hand-in-hand with my being out more... I spend less money when I am off the streets.

Hidden Figures gave me life. Give it all the awards. Go see it if you haven't yet already! Honestly I'm trying to watch more movies about POC fighting the odds and achieving greatness. We also watched Spare Parts on Amazon Instant Video (free with Prime, y'all!) and I loved it! That one is about 4 undocumented high school students who enter a robotics competition despite having the cards stacked against them. It was fantastic and is also based on a true story.

I found a new lunch spot. I'm always happy for a new and delicious lunch spot I can walk to from work. Even better, it's a Japanese street food joint. Nothing better than a cabbage and shrimp pancake!

I'm hoping to pick up my blogging pace a bit, but bear with me. With all the change happening around us, I think we're all re-examining and redefining our relationships to the things we hold dear and the ways we use our most limited resource: time. I still love this blog and all the people who read, but it's definitely not the good old days when I put out like 8 posts per month.

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We have to talk about unpaid internships


Once upon a time, entry-level jobs were just so: entry-level. You could get a degree and pay for it within 10 years of graduating. Nowadays, you are likely to have tens of thousands in student loans, and will probably graduate into a job market that leaves you wondering how to get experience if no one will give you any. Times have changed and there's this really ugly tradition that is exacerbating the situation: the unpaid internship.

As a person who believes in the importance of creating situations where everyone wins, unpaid internships are appalling. They are inherently exploitative, they are rarely beneficial for the intern, and they stunt the talent pool for companies and entire industries. But if you've not really been a part of unpaid internship culture, or not really examined it, you might not even realize these things. If you're a kid coming up into your adulthood and preparing for your career, you might not even realize you have other options. If you're an school administrator, or an employer, you might not realize how harmful unpaid internships are to the interns and to you. So I'm breaking it down for you, (and I'm going more in depth than the original twitter thread I wrote about this).

What internships should be

The concept of an internship is not at all the problem. Internships provide a whole host of opportunities and benefits, many of which I experienced myself as an intern. Internships are an opportunity to test-drive a job and learn things outside a classroom and in the real world. They're where you can try things out that you might not be able to commit to for 1-2 years when you've graduated, but can definitely commit to for 3-6 months. You can learn about specific companies, or roles, or industries in a way you simply can't (or would have a really hard time doing) in class. Internships should be educational. They should provide you with exploratory opportunities. I've even had paid internships where the company also set up sessions and lunch and learns for all the interns to see different parts of the company and learn about different roles and facets of the industry. Internships should provide you with the opportunity to not only experiment, but to contribute something of value. You should be working, not necessarily at the level of a full-time employee, but in ways that are relevant to the career you are exploring.

That is one of the most obvious reasons why you should be paid. If you are doing the work of a paid employee-- not all of their role, but some parts of it-- you should be getting paid. In my work history, that meant doing things like data collection and entry, copy writing, deck building, and research. These were all projects that a paid person on my team would do if I didn't do them, or conceivably could be assigned to do if they had the bandwidth. Interns are supposed to help teams do a little more and in exchange get paid, just like any other worker.


The problems with not getting paid

As you can imagine, there are a ton of problems with not getting paid for your work. The most obvious and immediate being that unpaid people can't pay for things. Being alive costs money. Paying for transportation and food are critical expenses for anyone, and they don't go on hold because you've got an unpaid internship.  Some kids may find that in order to pursue their careers, they have the best opportunities in both quantity and quality in faraway cities, which could mean additional costs compared to those living at home in the form of rent and moving costs. This adds up to a lot of money that a lot of intelligent, capable young people realize they can't afford to part with. You can talk all you want about the importance of learning to "invest in yourself" but with many students taking on so much in debt to pay for their education, it's a completely rational choice to sit-out so-called unpaid internship "opportunities."

And that leads to an even bigger problem: financial and class-based barriers to opportunity. It's easy to understand why any employer would prefer to hire a recent grad with a couple relevant (or even impressive!) internships under their belt as opposed to a kid with none when they are both competing for the same entry-level role. Everyone is looking to hire the most qualified, most competent candidate. But you have to look beyond "what are people bringing to the table?" to consider "who has been uninvited from the table?" While weighing qualifications is a big portion of the talent selection process, we also have to consider what the lack of qualifications or experience really means. The easy answer is that a lack of experience means that someone is unfit or unmotivated, but the best answers are rarely the easy ones. If we consider the prevalence of unpaid internships as a whole, with them being commonplace across industries and the standard in too many, the best answer as to why a fresh young graduate might lack experience when applying for an entry-level job probably has a lot to do with the fact that they likely couldn't afford to get any. Those who have experiences that are unpaid are those who could afford not to be paid, which means you're really only giving opportunities to well-to-do kids. I don't think that students from privileged backgrounds are the only ones who bring innovation, dedication, and brilliance to the table, so why would you want to keep them out of your companies (and sometimes by extension, whole industries)? Unpaid internships do not encourage young talent to "bootstrap"-- they tell young people with nothing but brains and bootstraps that your company or industry does not value their time and effort the way a paying job at a restaurant or store does.

There are students who do whatever it takes to keep up. They'll live in an apartment with three people to a bedroom and eat peanut butter sandwiches and ramen all summer. They'll wake up an hour earlier to walk to work, not because they were able to afford living somewhere close to the office and they like a good stroll but because they couldn't afford a car to drive from their place. I'm not denying they exist. I'm just saying that it shouldn't be so hard for these people to make the decision to intern somewhere and further their career instead of staying home and helping out their parents or getting a job at the local movie theater for the summer. If a kid who is smart and creative and hard working wants to work for you and contribute to your business, why would you make waiting tables seem like a more sensible option? And what student facing loans would rather do unpaid work instead of making a dent in their debt? Who wins?

Financial barriers affect some groups more than others. Students from underprivileged backgrounds, immigrants and children of immigrants, the poor, those living outside major metropolitan areas, people of color, and women. If your industry is having issues with diversity, and is struggling to find ways to help improve the diversity of the talent pool, consider doing away with unpaid internships and advocating against them in your industry. You suddenly take away a huge disparity between the rich kid with several internships and the kid who is just as smart who couldn't afford to burn through money without making any those summers, and give them a better shot.

Legally there are also ramifications. As mentioned before, if an intern is doing real work at a company, by law they must be compensated-- you can't have it both ways where you make money (in one way or another) from their contributions without paying them. This is an easy to understand concept. In addition to that though, giving interns paid roles helps ensure certain protections for them as employees. As reported in 2015, a shocking number of states don't protect unpaid interns from discrimination or sexual harassment. If a person is not being paid, they don't technically qualify as "employees" who are covered in federal or state workplace laws. Unpaid interns often can't report things like sexual harassment because they aren't protected from retaliation.

Unpaid conditions make for an inherently exploitative relationship between the employer and the not-legally-recognized "employee." 

And before you call unpaid internships worthwhile in the long-run, consider that a 2016 study by the National Association of Colleges and Employers found that paid interns are almost 30% more likely to get an offer compared to their unpaid peers and across industries, the gap between how much paid interns are offered as starting salaries versus unpaid interns is staggering. Most surprising of all, on average, those who took unpaid internships were offered less to start than those with no internship experience whatsoever. While starting salaries are far from the be-all-end-all of one's income potential, they do set the standard against which raises are doled out, and can set a person's expectation and evaluation of what they are worth as an employee. Because of this, a large disparity in starting salary can significantly hinder someone's ability to close the gap between their salary and that of a peer who started higher up the pay scale despite having the same role.


College credit isn't really compensation

Many prospective interns are aware that some employers can't pay in money, but they can compensate in "educational credits." Educational credits, however, do not pay the bills. Moreover, college credit is a tricky thing to obtain. It requires that the employer meet the educational institution's standards to qualify as an educational experience worthy of credit. This can mean that students will have to complete additional projects as educational exercises, or that supervisors have the power to grade interns, or even, in some cases, that the institution can charge a student for those credits. That's right, it might mean that a student pays for a job. (Some of my peers did this and it absolutely boggles my mind.)

If you've ever had a bad boss (and I think everyone has), you know that even at great companies or while doing work you love, a bad boss can ruin everything. Now, imagine that you have no protections against your boss harassing, bullying, or discriminating against you. Now imagine that this person who is not a trained educator can grade you. Now imagine you are concerned about your GPA being in this person's hands, and not only are you worried about your GPA as it appears on your resume for the next year or so-- you are concerned about keeping your scholarships so you can actually graduate. Imagine that. That's the reality for far too many kids.

Some universities are engaging in misguided attempts to give students real-life experience by requiring internships in order for students to graduate. These employers are not beholden to legal protections for employees nor bound by the authority of the educational institutions and as a result, the quality of these internships isn't paid much attention or enforced, with many students unable to risk their ability to graduate or find work in tight-knit industries by reporting bad experiences. It is imperative in my opinion that schools stop requiring internships. I believe paid internships should be encouraged and facilitated by the educational institutions as much as possible, but requiring internships forces many students to take unpaid internships.


Unpaid internships aren't your only option

As previously mentioned, you might think that an unpaid internship is your only option, either because they are the standard in your industry, or because you haven't been able to land a paid internship. The good news is that there are lots of things you can do instead of an unpaid internship that will further your career.

Make stuff. Whether you want to write for TV or work in fashion or build apps or websites, you can spend your summer just making stuff. If you're not going to get paid anyway, you might as well work for yourself. You might not be able to put an internship on your resume, but you can write about your project, add it to your portfolio, and talk about it in interviews down the line. Make stuff that you care about. It might cost you money, but you'll have the flexibility to work paid jobs on the side, and you'll still come out ahead, rather than having spent at least an equivalent amount of money making it work for someone who won't pay you.

Learn a new skill and/or get certified. This might also take a little investment, but it's more tangible than an unpaid internship. Brush up on that foreign language you took in high school and become fluent. Get certified in a coding language or CPR or design program. Or get that driver's license you have been putting off. Or even just learn how to cook and shop well for groceries-- maybe that's not something you can put on your resume, but it's a life skill that will pay off in savings from all those meals out and spoiled produce you've learned to circumvent. Read books about self-improvement or productivity. Be a better (and more employable) you.

Job-shadow. Observerships are great because they're basically everything unpaid internships want to be but generally fail at. They typically don't last very long-- sometimes a few days up to a few weeks. This means that you don't spend your entire summer doing something you're not paid for and aren't contributing to (remember, those things are legally dependent on each other). You just shadow someone at their job, going through their day with them, and they take some extra time to explain what they're doing, why, and answer your questions. You're not expected to "do" anything, and you don't get paid, but you also get to learn what a job is like from someone who has it. Observerships are also a lot less commitment on the part of the shadowee since they don't have to take you on for months.

Do informational interviews. Learn about other jobs and companies by doing shorter interviews. You can do these in person or over the phone or video chat. While they aren't as hands-on as other methods, this can be a really efficient way to learn about many companies while also familiarizing them with you. It's a conversation, a two-way street, and it's great for making connections while also learning.

Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way to do hands-on work with much more fair terms than an unpaid intern. While you're still not getting paid, volunteers work on a voluntary basis. While you may decide to commit to coming in from 9-to-5 to help with accounting or planning, you're still there on a voluntary basis and won't have to worry about poor references if something comes up and you need to adjust. The stakes are lower because while you are helping out, you're not obligated to be there. You can learn and prove tons of transferrable skills like communication, team leadership, event planning, web design, and language skills while also working with an organization you care about. It could be a shelter or food bank or library or museum. Health organizations, political organizations, research organizations-- whatever your passion. Someone can use your skills in a way you can put on your resume, with much better conditions than what an unpaid internship might provide.


You can help fight unpaid internships

So now you know all about why I'm against unpaid internships and what some other options are. But now you might wonder how you can stop unpaid internships from being so prevalent. Here are ways you can help.

Don't take unpaid internships. This is an easy choice for those who can't feasibly do it, so this is really a request for those who can. Don't take an unpaid internship even if you can afford it. We need this entire economy to collapse. Unpaid internships cannot exist if there are no unpaid interns. Do some of the other stuff above instead. I know it can be hard, especially when it seems like unpaid internships are the only options out there, but ask yourself if you really want to contribute to a system that makes it hard for people starting out in their career to be a part of it and survive.

Don't make unpaid internships. If you are an employer, or even an employee at a company considering unpaid interns, fight against having unpaid interns. Interns should be paid for their work because people should be paid for their work. Pay your interns or don't have interns.

Advocate against unpaid internships in your industry. Speak out against unpaid internships. There are much better ways to scout talent early and improve the talent pool. Talk about how they cripple diversity and innovation. Talk about how they are unfair and dangerous to the well-being of the young people. If your alma mater has an internship requirement, talk to professors and administrators about why you are against them. Not to be all "children are the future" about this, but literally, the students of today will be the change-makers of tomorrow. It is absurd to ask students who have little to "invest in themselves" for the industry's benefit when the industry should be investing in them.

Open up your doors. As an employer you can scout and encourage talent in many ways, and most of them involve opening your doors. Take calls from students cold emailing you to learning more about what you do. Do panels or office tours for students. Present case studies at local universities. Hold information sessions. You don't have to be an amazing guide to the world of your work. You just have to be open to helping a couple kids figure some stuff out.

You don't have to agree

I don't pretend to be an expert in all industries. I don't pretend to know about your experiences with unpaid internships. But I do know what I know. I know that I have had internships that I loved and learned from, and internships that I hated and learned from. All of them were paid, and I could do them only because I was paid. The things those internships taught me about the work, and about what I need to succeed as an employee, have made me better at my ("real") job. If I hadn't been able to do those internships paid, I would not have been able to do them at all, and that would have made me poorer-equipped professional.

I do not know a single person who got a job offer through an unpaid internship. I do not know a single person who had an amazing unpaid internship experience. I have heard far too many unpaid intern horror stories. I know students and alumni who helped their school or program abolish internship requirements after having their own terrible unpaid internship experiences ranging from not-really-educational to abusive. I know in some industries, unpaid internships are standard. These industries typically have diversity problems. I know that even on my worst days at my least favorite internship, I still did my best and I still got paid so at least I didn't have to worry about how I was going to afford a dinner (over which to cry).

Sometimes a job is just a job, but what is it if you aren't even getting paid? When people aren't compensated or protected, when fantastic talent is abandoning the industry due to barriers to entry, when you are likely to get offered less to start than someone with no internship experience, who really wins?

Thanks for reading, and I hope I've at least made you think about this issue that affects tons of young people today.

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Floral Meditation 01


This year, I've resolved to buy flowers for myself more for the betterment of my mental health. Not only do flowers brighten a space, but arranging them is really meditative. It's one part art and one part communing with nature. It's an exercise in balancing chaos and creating harmony out of a broad array of colors, textures, and shapes. For me, that makes it a great meditational activity where I can think about how what I'm creating relates back to my life and how I want or need to live it. It might sound pretty out there, but over the next year, I'm planning on sharing my floral meditations with you. Maybe it will help you like it helps me.

For my first arrangement of the year, I wanted to create something joyous and optimistic. I also wanted to make something very me, seeing as how my mantra for the year is "You Know Who You Are." I knew I needed to go pink and yellow-- my signature colors-- for this. I also wanted things with a lot of volume to represent chaos and abundance.



Chaos is a recurring thing for me in all my floral work. Chaos is essential to giving life to an arrangement which can look inorganic and artificial if it's too symmetrical. It's also impossible to make things exactly symmetrical because flowers, as part of nature, just don't grow uniformly. By working with beautiful chaos, I create an outlet for my anxiety, which is deeply rooted in the chaos and uncontrollability of the universe. I work incredibly hard to maintain my personal agency and choice in all things, but you never have full control of your life and in my darkest moments, that is what terrifies me the most. Working with beautiful, physical chaos in a positive way reminds me that chaos is natural and good.

Especially going into the new year, Abundance is a key theme. It might be asking a lot in this new political climate, which is far from business as usual, but I am hoping that whatever comes down the pike, I can create a sense of abundance, which is really about focusing on my priorities more than generating wealth. While I hope to maintain or improve my financial health, I'm also hoping to create spiritual abundance in the form of stronger relationships with loved ones and making more time for joy.


In the starring role, I bought some large yellow Chrysanthemums. They symbolize optimism and in Chinese traditions, they are considered to be one of the most divine and beautiful flowers. I like how joyous and free they look. These anchor my arrangement and represent my desire to celebrate the moments in life that make me the happiest.


Carnations are supporting cast here and play a big role as well. Carnations symbolize love-- less romantic than roses; more tender, I suppose. Pink carnations are heavily entwined with Mother's Day but they carry a general association with sisterhood to me. Sisterhood is what really gets me through life. I don't consider myself to have tons of close friends, but the ones I have, I consider to be my brothers and sisters. I support the heck outta my friends and they support the heck outta me. That's what's going to keep me going this year-- the bad ass people in my life.


The green dianthus is something I've never worked with before. I like adding greenery to my arrangements and this seemed like a fun and interesting choice. There's a Dr. Seuss-iness to the texture that felt like an important addition and the lushness of the green spray brings to mind financial well-being to me. I like how little tendrils make up each dense head. It strikes me as a nice metaphor for the idea that things of great substance can be made up of many much smaller things. I'm trying to keep this in mind with regard to my financial decisions (eating out for lunch adds up quick!) as well as with my desire to create positive change in the world. It's not all about big grand gestures-- it's also about doing good on an everyday level. A fun fact about green dianthus I learned: Despite how totally different it looks, this is actually a kind of carnation.


Baby breath is a flower I used to hate as a kid, but now I love working with it. The things I hated about it have actually become what I like most about it now, which I think speaks to how I've become more emotionally mature. Traditionally, baby breath is a flower that represents undying love-- familial, romantic, and platonic-- as well as innocence, newborn babies, fidelity, and self-discipline. For me personally though, baby breath is my absolute favorite embodiment of chaos. The voluminousness and randomness of the spray seems like a manifestation of chaos. It's a classic gap-filler in arrangements, and I think randomness fills in the gaps between all our choices. Even the way the sprays branch off into these rigid forks sort of remind me of small, seemingly inconsequential decisions ("forks in the road," if you will) and each one ends in a little blossom-- an outcome, some better than others.

I used to hate the randomness and the inconsequentiality of the tiny baby breath blooms and the volume it took in arrangements. It seemed so chaotic and self-indulgent and lazy to take up space with random spray rather than carefully selected flowers. Now I see how that line of thinking was another indicator of my anxiety issues. Not having precise control of something was so abhorrent to me, and little triumphs felt meaningless. The burden of perfection was heavy but it seemed so much more appealing than just accepting and embracing chaos. Now I love baby breath and I work hard to frame chaos as a co-conspirator in my successes and blessings.


Anyway, that's my first floral meditation. I'd love your thoughts on it because I have never done this kind of content before but the idea of doing more really excites me. Also let me know if you have questions on beginning to take up floral arrangement because as with most things I have feelings and thoughts about this.


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Looking Forward at 2017 - Mantra and Goals

The Mantra

2016 was rough and honestly, there were some moments where I would get so debilitatingly sad or angry about how things were going that I'd either feel hopeless or like I should do something stupid in a feeble attempt to feign control over things. But luckily Moana came and saved the day for me, emotionally. This song, which admittedly is a bit spoiler-y if, for some reason, you haven't seen the movie, is what keeps me going in my lowest moments. The film was very much about discovering and honoring who you are-- because the best thing you can be to this world is yourself. No matter how you are hurt, you have to remember who you are and live that. So my phrase/mantra for the year is this:

You know who you are.


Major Goals

While I've done a great job with some of my 2016 goals like getting organized and saving money, I haven't done a great job with others-- most notably getting back on track with Spanish and voluntEARing as many hours as I hoped. This year I'm hoping to set some more manageable goals with concrete progress markers, or that are more reasonable for me to accomplish even if my situation changes. While I think I set a lot of great goals, I don't think I necessarily created good systems to follow through with them. This year I'm hoping I've set better, more manageable goals for my self improvement!

Career
  • I want to be really good at my job. I think I am doing pretty good on this so far, but the nature of my job changes regularly, so I want to continue to be good and do even better at my work. 
  • I want to handle delicate situations better. Especially being pretty young, I don't think I'm as seasoned at handling delicate situations at work as I hope to be. I'm pretty good at handling difficult stuff outside the work environment because I have more experience outside a professional environment than in it.  For all my strengths I think this is going to come with time and reflecting on situations after the fact. 
  • I want to double my wins. I've just completed my first year of being a real, non-intern, professional. I have learned so much along the way and I have the privilege of working with awesome people. I hope I can take all those wins from the past year and use it to double my wins next year.
Mental Health
  • Arrange flowers once a month. Floral arrangement is one of the most calming activities in the world to me. It's a reminder that chaos is both natural and beautiful. As someone with panic disorder it's incredibly healing to work with your hands and just accept that flowers are beautiful and imperfect. Arrangements are least pleasing when they are the most symmetrical. I hope to buy and arrange flowers for myself once a month.
  • Finish a book every other month. I think I'm spending too much time with videos, and I really want to get back to reading novels. I love reading but I think I've been forcing myself to do it in bite-sized increments too much. I want to read more books, and also this will significantly cut down on the amount of guilt piling up on my book shelf...
  • Sing more. I don't currently have a plan for this. I think maybe I'll take singing in the shower back up-- it's taken a back seat since I started listening to podcasts in the shower. (Is it weird that I do that?)
Creativity
  • Draw stuff every week. I dither back and forth on whether I want to be good at drawing, but I definitely think I want to do it more, regardless of improvement. 
  • Keep up with blogging and youtubing. I think I want to put up at least 2 pieces a month on each my blog and my youtube. 
  • Start new video project. I have a video project in the works that a friend and I are thinking of starting this year. It's under wraps for now, but I'm excited for it!
  • Start project with my cousin. I have an upcoming project with my cousin that we are hoping to get off the ground in 2017. We have a lot more planning to do, but I am so looking forward to collaborating with her on something.
Financial
  • Successfully save enough for my upcoming trip to Disneyworld. I'm going on a trip to Disneyworld with some friends in May and I definitely need to make sure I've saved up enough for that. 
  • Put a couple thousand into investments by the end of the year. God, this is such an adult sentence. I hope I put a bunch of money away in some good investments this year. 
  • Plan and save a decent amount for a big trip in 2018 for my 25th birthday. I'm hoping to go on a big trip for my 25th birthday. I rarely travel and I basically never go out of the country so I'm hoping to really do something big. 
Health
  • Take vitamins more regularly. They definitely help me and I've gotten pretty lazy about taking them-- I need to be more diligent about taking all my vitamins. 
  • Pack more lunches. Not only will this save me a lot of money, but it'll also make me healthier. I definitely eat better when I prepare my own food just because I feel a lot more guilty about not having a balanced meal when I prepare it-- whereas I feel guilty about not finishing a convenient and sometimes unhealthy meal that I have paid for. 
  • Find more ways to be active. I am going to the gym less regularly than I used to because it's less convenient and to be honest, more scary than it was in my old neighborhood. I like a cemetery more than your average person but walking by one at night, alone, on mostly deserted streets is terrifying, and that's the only way to get to my gym. I want to make more time for the gym, but I also want to make time/space in my life to be active in other ways. I think there's going to be a lot more at-home solo dance parties in 2017.

What are your goals or visions for 2017?

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