Going Gluten Free

As you may have read in an earlier update, I have been finding out some new stuff about myself medically. Pretty much all good news in that a lot of things I thought were just aging or my personality-- getting tired and weaker, for example-- were actually a very common and treatable disease. So it turns out, I've got to go gluten free for my health. I was incredibly upset when I found out because I love pastries and pasta. It's been a few weeks and I'm already seeing some positive results. But going gluten free has been pretty difficult.

Content Warning: I'm going to talk about my relationship with food and body so if anyone has a hard time with that, please read with care.

I've never been super connected to my body. There have been some genuine benefits to this! I don't have significant body image issues and while I'm not always comfortable in my body, it has never felt like a factor in how good I feel about my value as a person or my worthiness in the world. These are things I'm really grateful for, because it's really difficult to be a woman in the world without letting your value feel attached to what you look like. Especially if you're not a small woman, which I am not.

All that said, I'm a little too disconnected from my body. I tend to not worry about it, or care for it the way that I should. It's made my relationship with food one that is foremost about flavor and convenience, rather than nutrition or health. Food is comfort, rather than fuel. I think both of these things can happen in harmony but I'm a long way off from balance.

I don't have a disordered relationship with food, but I certainly don't have a good one. I love food, but I don't care about what it does to me, in large part. I need to change that about myself, because factually, food actually does things to people. Having to go gluten free is really forcing me to break out of my comfort routines about food-- many of which have been unhealthy. I have to do research now and be intentional and plan things.

I've always been more of a casual eater in every sense-- I eat what I want, when I want to. It's not a terrible way to be, but I've also been a huge emotional eater and stress eater, which means I wanted to eat the wrong things too often.

Due to my illness, gluten has likely been making me sad and tired... which has driven me to such gluten-filled delights such as donuts, pizza, and pasta. A vicious cycle of tasty treats.

Since I've stopped eating gluten, things have been tough-- I cried to my sister over the phone for an hour, mourning the loss of my ability to eat chicken nuggets, pastries, and pastas. She tough-loved me for an hour and didn't hang up (that's love) while I wailed. She cooked me gluten free things while I was home for Thanksgiving and told me all about how to be gluten free. I complained a lot. I still complain, but less now.

Since I've gone gluten free, my skin has started clearing up, I'm less lethargic, and my hair fall out a lot less. I'm still figuring things out, but things are looking up, despite now having to forgo croissants and muffins in most cases. Supposedly my skin will stop being as prone to dryness and my joint soreness will go away too-- y'all, I really thought I was just the worst and fastest at aging.

I'm really excited for what's to come. I am super sad about not being able to eat anything made with wheat or barley or soy sauce (although I can have tamari, which is gluten free soy sauce). But hopefully, I will be less sad in general.

Tell me if you have any gluten free recipes or resources you'd like to send my way, let me know! I need them.

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Recent Faves

It's been a while since I've done faves! I usually do them in a video but since I'm short on time with the holidays to prepare for, I'm going to tell you all my favorites here instead. Some of the links in here may be affiliate links which means that if you click or buy something through them, I might be compensated at no additional cost to you. It helps me continue to be able to blog here.

1. Fenty Matchstix Trio. Believe the hype, y'all. I'm obsessed with my set in Medium 200 and have bought additional Matchstix in Yacht Lyfe and Blonde. Each trio comes with a highlight, contour, and concealer and has a value of 3 for the price of 2. Crazy lightweight, buildable, and easy to use. I love the magnetic, hexagonal packaging as well.

2. When Dimple Met Rishi by Sandhya Menon. This book was a lot of fun to listen to! I got the Audible audiobook and luckily for me, the great writing was complemented by great readers. It tells the story of Dimple and Rishi who are being set up by their very traditional Indian parents. Rishi is a dutiful son and is excited by the prospect of meeting a (potential) life partner. Dimple is not as aligned with her parents' traditional ideas and wants to focus on her career. This is why, when both families decide to send the two soon-to-be college students to the same summer program for web development to get to know each other, Rishi's parents tell him about his potential mate and Dimple's parents... do not. If you're looking for a fun read about two kids falling-in-love maybe and coming-of-age definitely-- and are really tired of only reading stories about white people-- check this book out.

3. Audible. Speaking of listening to books, I just started up with Audible and I love it. As someone who wants to read more but had trouble making space for it given my issues reading on trains (I get motion sick!) this has been a fantastic solution. I can read books while on the train, cleaning my apartment, or while drifting off to sleep. It's $15/mo and each month you get a credit for a book-- so as long as your book is $15+ on Audible, you've made your money back. You own the books so you can keep them in your library to re-listen to whenever and they also allow you to roll credits over to the next month or return books if you realize you're not that into them.

4. NARS Powermatte Lip Pigment. This is a new favorite formula and the chocolate brown Done It Again is definitely my Fall Look. Non-sticky, has great hold, highly pigmented, and on top of all that, it's not heavy at all. I might have to get more of these in different colors.

5. LUSH Montalbano Shampoo Bar. My cousin Caroline recommended this to me and I'm obsessed now. It's a citrusy, all natural, cruelty-free shampoo that I love. I'd never tried a shampoo bar but I have to say, I'm sold on it and I might never go back. My hair feels so clean and the scent energizes me!

6. Cellphone Rings. As a clumsy person with small hands who drops everything, this sucker has really changed the game for me. Stick it on your phone and you've got a ring to help you hold your phone or to stand it up on surfaces. I like the flower one a lot and I find them more useful than popsockets.

Tell me what stuff you're loving, especially books I oughta try on Audible!

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